The History of Murmas

Part 1: Origins

ecorded history tells us that the origins of the Festival of Murmas lay somewhere in the middle ages. It was a time of druids, of portents, prophecies, and omens. Famine and plague ravaged much of the land, and people were increasingly turning to religion to find a sense of hope for the future.

t was in this period that medieval researchers discovered in the Book of Revelations repeated references to "Pie Mure Domine" (pee-ay moo-ray doe-mee-nay), or "Gentle Lord Mure", and several prophecies foretelling of his coming. Later references were uncharacteristically specific: Gentle Lord Mure would arrive "undeviginti centum sexaginta unus messes" (nineteen hundred and sixty and one harvests) after the birth of Jesus. The illuminated text on the right, restored from a damaged edition of the original book of Revelations, discusses the coming of Mure in detail.

Nineteen hundred and sixty and one harvests after Christ there shall be born a child who will wear crystals over his eyes. And he shall be named Mure, and yea, he shall be hugely endowed, and also quite handsome. Seriously, the girls will lose their shit.

Revelations 23:1 (restored)